We came from two nearby villages, she from ENUGWU::UKWU while am from ENUGWU ;;;AGIDI: She was like a kid sister to me. We all lived in the same apartment building in ENUGU owned by my grandfather. Her senior sister was my friend and was practical sharing my room with me, as our apartment was much bigger than theirs.
I grew up with my mother always ill and away in search of healing, often my sister and I are always hungry as biG brothers were always out playing football.My friend the senior sister would sneak into their apartment to eat food prepared by their mom, while Njide would sneak food out for me. After high school, I left for JOS to attend university education. My MOM later passed on, I left Enugu for good and then lost touch with the family.
Years later, she traced me to ABUJA where I had settled and started a family. She was posted to serve her NYSC in BAUCHI state and had finished from the orientation camp. She was certainly unhappy with the choice of Bauchi and wanted a different place for primary assignment, so came looking for me. I was more than happy to see her. I promised to help her serve in Abuja. She happily settled down in my house. We had a lot of time to chat about the old life and her life after I left Enugu. Her life was one of struggle after her father,s business went under. Attending University was no longer possible ;but help came her way.
The GENERAL OVERSEER of their church, who started dating her senior sister offered to send both of them to the university. While her two brothers dropped out of school after high school ,they had to go and learn trading. Things were still a struggle as they were mostly dependent on their mother,s petty trading to survive. Education wise, things were ok until the CHURCH FOUNDER with children her own age, started LUSTING after her too. When she refused to carve in and start dating him too, the man of GOD washed his hands off her education, Luckily she was half way through, things became real tough, but she was determined not to give up on her dreams of been a university graduate. [she read political science] The family really struggled to help her actualize her dreams. She told me about her shoe nicknamed ²ECHETEKA meaning tomorrow is too far by her school mates reason been that she wears the shoe day in day out, month in month out in school .
Been an attractive girl, she had her fair share of toasters in school, she took her time until in 300 level when she fell in love with a posh boy from ABBA another nearby village from her,s who was already in his final year in same school. Things were a little better for her when he graduated and started working as he helped out. She had never been comfortable about their two dialectical opposite background as he is the son of a well known rich transporter. The boy born into a VENERABLE and VENERATED family assured her, that he would certainly marry her. She then graduated from the university.
The way and manner she was introduced to his marriage to another girl, who came from the right similar background was mortifying. The boy,s mother had always been in the know about their relationship but had always been indifferent to her, which always cause a dampness to fall upon her spirit but the lover boy always irrevocably pledged his never ending love , assuring her that his family would never dictate to him who to marry, and would deal with his condescending mother with her spasmodic extravagance of a person used to large fortune when they are ready for their marriage after her NYSC: She visited the family house as usual, but saw that an important activity was planned for the house as there were canopies been set up, women running around cooking while the LADY OF THE MANOR the boy friend,s mother was fully in charge running the affair.She was just told that there would be a party the next day. She wondered as Chike never informed her of any party.When she asked of him as she didnt sight him at all, nobody was forth coming with an answer to his movement and his cell phone out of reach. She went home and was later informed about the next day traditional wedding between Chike and a girl from the right well connected family. who just returned from UK after university education by a friend of Chike over the cell phone. She never saw nor had any communication from him again.
After the sharing of this story, I was more than determined to help her. Am sure I would had bombed that traditional wedding; if I were in her shoes.Luckily I had a contact at NYSC office so her reposting to Abuja was just one hand for me, we went further to press buttons to post her to NNPC with the intention of further pushing them to retain her,after the service year.
She was full of joy and decided to travel down to Enugu to inform her parents, as she had two weeks off before starting work. As I intended traveling to Benin, so she joined myself and my son down to Benin, where we spent three wonderful nights in the poshest hotel in town. I thank GOD I gave her good, wonderful time before dropping her at her parent house still my grandfather,s house and traveled back to Abuja.
She was to come back to Abuja in a weeks time to party with us on my son,s forth coming birthday. She promised to come back two days before the party to help out. The day came and passed and she didnt show up.Then the dread call came from a friend of mine living at Enugu that NJIDE had passed on.She didnt have any information on what happened. I was filled with sudden exasperation of the elaborate futility of life. I traveled down to Enugu at once, I was shocked that she was already buried same day she passed on. The sorrow within the family was heart renting but I was really taken back at the suddenness of the intenment.
The story of what really took her life was related to me by the photographer who had a studio in from of their family home. According to him, Nijide had informed all of them about her intending trip back to Abuja the next day. She was up very early in the morning, washed her cloths for the trip next morning, cooked breakfast for the family and then left with her senior sister my old friend. Soon after, the sister rushed back alone without her and their mother joined her in rushing out again. By now people around knew that something was up. Soon after the mother rushed back and started screaming that NJIDE had passed on. People who saw her not quite an hour, leaving with her sister was bewildered beyond reasons.
Njide was pregnant and went with her sister to a nearby clinic for an abortion. The medical director of the clinic was not on seat. The NYSC doctor they meet convinced them he would do the abortion very well and at half the cost of what the hospital owner would had collected from them so they accepted. Soon after he started the evacuation, she started bleeding, became unconscious and then passed on. The father was called from the market where he runs a shop. He directed that she must be buried at once, so an ambulance was brought and a casket bought for her last journey to ENUGWU;;UKWU , that same day, without any funfair without any church service, without fair well from her friends, just thrown into the soil like an out caste. Like one who has committed an abormination . She was at the face of a steep precipice alone, the preposterousness of the matter without the second party, who have started his matrimonal life with ecstatic animation else where without a second thought to all his promises to her.
The fresh body, bleed all over the casket ,bleed all over the white shroud, bleed all over the ambulance.,The photographer and other people, that went with her on this last journey testified. SHE WAS COMMITTED TO MOTHER EARTH around 10 pm that night when they finished digging the grave, without prayers as if they family was furious with her for the shame and scandal brought upon the family. The rich boy from the correct background had planted his seed of destruction on the girl from the wrong background, before dumping her to marry the right girl, from another correct background.Her story was one of most poor girls who had been deceived by boys from so called upper crust families,these boys often turn their scrupulous eyes on these poor girls while in school, only to dump them later. These girls whose ROMANTICISM are always inconsistent with reality, are always left with burnt fingers and depressed for life. They need to let go of their INNOCENT ADROITNESS and face fact that inequality can never be wished away in the real world, unlike the movies.
Tuesday, 15 April 2014
Monday, 7 April 2014
GAY ISSUE:::::::A SOCIOLOGICAL VIEW POINT
On the stroke of mid-night of 29th march 2014 ,the law permitting GAY couples to marry came into law, in ENGLAND AND WALES. Many of the so called Gay couples were scrambling to be among the first sets to be married. The voting of 400 for gay marriage and 107 against,showed that the country was ready for it.I saw the newly married male couples, the outstanding thing about all of them´is that they were mostly middle aged..BOTH HUSBANDS AND WIVES though only the couples themselves know who is who.
I do not believe there are true Gay people,that is born HOMOSEXUALS in our society,what we have here are married men or women who just want to swing both ways.Mostly married Men searching for thrills away from the usual or belong to some cult where these things are done as intiations . Often some enjoyed the act so much that it becomes a way of life, while others are re pulsed by the act that they stopped
My very first introduction into the existence of Gay people was way back in high school,when we mobilized and attacked an ANGLICAN CLERGY who sexually abused a friends 13 year old brother. About 18 of us during break hour stormed the vicary which was nearby and started hitting the offending gay REVEREND . He couldnt hit back, he could not shout as he didnt want to attract attention, we tore his robes into rags and looted his home to boots, how I now wished we did lot more. The man was a real PEDOPHILIA; he was newly trans fed and came without his wife and 4 children, he firstly lured the Gardener´s son into the gay act, then later used him to lure other young boys in his class with just chicken money.They were all children from poor homes. These boys had a lot of needs which their parents could not meet so fall into the hands of these depraved men.
What of the story of a retired man who spent his days out on his balcony watching the world, he kept on seeing a middle aged Man with two young boys dressed in the local school, uniform. They come every other afternoon, on clue, the owner of the lockup shop would leave and another man would lock himself and the boys inside the shop,the old man one day,mobilized the neighbours into confrounting them and the boys confessed that they were given money in exchange for the sexual favors. They GAY man was beaten a little short of his life,the arrival of the police on the scene saved him from the used tyre treatment.
A young boy was sent by his widowed mother to learn a trade as she could not foot the school fees after the demise of his father,he started staying with the master, his wife and 3 kids. He was given the antic room, the second night, dead in the night the master came into his room and demanded to see his DICK ; the poor confused boy did. Through out the next day the boy was filled with sudden exasperation at the elaborate futility of his life as it was generally believed that most people practice homosexual acts for RITUAL purposes.The next night,like before the master came in and this time sat on the bed and demanded to be shown the dick, the boy demanded to use the restroom first and bolted into the night.
My friend sister in law lost her husband to a gay married man with 4 children, the husband a retired military governor moved the man and two of his children into their matrimonal home, right into his bed room. The stories goes on and on. the high light of these stories are that all these men are all married and are not ready to give up been married to women. Am sure very few men here hates women or are never attracted to them and want to remain unmarried or wish to marry other men and live happily ever after with their male wives.
Most people i spoke to expressed disgust and are offended by gay people making love through the CRACK at the back, but the truth of the matter is that most heterosexual men also make love or want to make love through there if their wives would allow them entrance. Many a times the men blackmail their wives into allowing them, telling them IF YOU LOVE ME; YOU SHOULD ALLOW ME: ONCE I MAKE LOVE TO YOU THROUGH THERE; I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ETC but most women hates it and found it too painful . I still believe that whatever two consenting adults do is their problem.
GAY practices in our society cannot be not be wished away and its connection to PREYING on young people is very strong. Why wouldnt they go after adults instead of young impressionable children from very poor homes.These boys are not gay at all but have to escape poverty through any means these men often use money or material things to cage them into doing what they are very ashamed of. These closet gays should move away from children to adults before the issue of what is right or wrong can be addressed .
Speaking as a lawyer,legislating on gay issues with ascribed jail terms is an over kill, as this is a MORAL issue. As matter of fact law has no business with a moral question as this, but the important point is that the law is out to protect our young kids and punish PEDOPHILIA WHO SHOULD GO PICK ON MEN OF THEIR OWN AGES OR AT LEAST ADULTS.
Speaking now as a SOCIOLOGIST looking at the GAY QUESTION from the NATURE and NUTURE CONTROVERSY; I dont think any one is born GAY, this is actually a learnt practice, one thing or the other influence these Men into turning to gay practices while in their formative years. We are yet to hear of proves that some animals are born GAY especially the higher animals who are said to be related to us. It is morally wrong to allow GAY people to adopt children as they had given up their right to having children when they marry their own sex. The possibility of these adopted kids been gay in turn is very high. The population of the WESTERN countries are falling fast and the people are aging, now that the gay can marry and they are all out of the closet can the population grow, thank God for poor third world countries providing them with labor force. During the GAY marriages i saw on the television,the parents were there to surport their marrying children, but which parents are happy that they would not be given grand kids poor parents am sure are anguished at never knowing what their grand children would look like, if the marrying son or daughter is their only child.
Now ANTHROPOLOGICAL speaking, i belive that western influences help in spreading the GAY culture,most of the people propagating the spread of homosexuality are those who either schooled abroad, lived abroad or have a thing or the other do do with western culture, in my village which can anthropologically be called a simple society until recent time, we have no one who is gay, may be the fear and shame of banishment is keeps every one in check.
Lastly, the every present and real fear of GAY MEN PREYING on young people not that heterosexual men dont prey on young girls, but this is lot more despicable and psychologically more profound. The level of poverty and lack of social welfare for poor families make the incident of child abuse , RAPE of minors very high. Until these issues are sorted out and addressed the law against GAY PRACTICES and the CRIMINALIZATION of the practice is a fit and proper thing to do.
I do not believe there are true Gay people,that is born HOMOSEXUALS in our society,what we have here are married men or women who just want to swing both ways.Mostly married Men searching for thrills away from the usual or belong to some cult where these things are done as intiations . Often some enjoyed the act so much that it becomes a way of life, while others are re pulsed by the act that they stopped
My very first introduction into the existence of Gay people was way back in high school,when we mobilized and attacked an ANGLICAN CLERGY who sexually abused a friends 13 year old brother. About 18 of us during break hour stormed the vicary which was nearby and started hitting the offending gay REVEREND . He couldnt hit back, he could not shout as he didnt want to attract attention, we tore his robes into rags and looted his home to boots, how I now wished we did lot more. The man was a real PEDOPHILIA; he was newly trans fed and came without his wife and 4 children, he firstly lured the Gardener´s son into the gay act, then later used him to lure other young boys in his class with just chicken money.They were all children from poor homes. These boys had a lot of needs which their parents could not meet so fall into the hands of these depraved men.
What of the story of a retired man who spent his days out on his balcony watching the world, he kept on seeing a middle aged Man with two young boys dressed in the local school, uniform. They come every other afternoon, on clue, the owner of the lockup shop would leave and another man would lock himself and the boys inside the shop,the old man one day,mobilized the neighbours into confrounting them and the boys confessed that they were given money in exchange for the sexual favors. They GAY man was beaten a little short of his life,the arrival of the police on the scene saved him from the used tyre treatment.
A young boy was sent by his widowed mother to learn a trade as she could not foot the school fees after the demise of his father,he started staying with the master, his wife and 3 kids. He was given the antic room, the second night, dead in the night the master came into his room and demanded to see his DICK ; the poor confused boy did. Through out the next day the boy was filled with sudden exasperation at the elaborate futility of his life as it was generally believed that most people practice homosexual acts for RITUAL purposes.The next night,like before the master came in and this time sat on the bed and demanded to be shown the dick, the boy demanded to use the restroom first and bolted into the night.
My friend sister in law lost her husband to a gay married man with 4 children, the husband a retired military governor moved the man and two of his children into their matrimonal home, right into his bed room. The stories goes on and on. the high light of these stories are that all these men are all married and are not ready to give up been married to women. Am sure very few men here hates women or are never attracted to them and want to remain unmarried or wish to marry other men and live happily ever after with their male wives.
Most people i spoke to expressed disgust and are offended by gay people making love through the CRACK at the back, but the truth of the matter is that most heterosexual men also make love or want to make love through there if their wives would allow them entrance. Many a times the men blackmail their wives into allowing them, telling them IF YOU LOVE ME; YOU SHOULD ALLOW ME: ONCE I MAKE LOVE TO YOU THROUGH THERE; I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ETC but most women hates it and found it too painful . I still believe that whatever two consenting adults do is their problem.
GAY practices in our society cannot be not be wished away and its connection to PREYING on young people is very strong. Why wouldnt they go after adults instead of young impressionable children from very poor homes.These boys are not gay at all but have to escape poverty through any means these men often use money or material things to cage them into doing what they are very ashamed of. These closet gays should move away from children to adults before the issue of what is right or wrong can be addressed .
Speaking as a lawyer,legislating on gay issues with ascribed jail terms is an over kill, as this is a MORAL issue. As matter of fact law has no business with a moral question as this, but the important point is that the law is out to protect our young kids and punish PEDOPHILIA WHO SHOULD GO PICK ON MEN OF THEIR OWN AGES OR AT LEAST ADULTS.
Speaking now as a SOCIOLOGIST looking at the GAY QUESTION from the NATURE and NUTURE CONTROVERSY; I dont think any one is born GAY, this is actually a learnt practice, one thing or the other influence these Men into turning to gay practices while in their formative years. We are yet to hear of proves that some animals are born GAY especially the higher animals who are said to be related to us. It is morally wrong to allow GAY people to adopt children as they had given up their right to having children when they marry their own sex. The possibility of these adopted kids been gay in turn is very high. The population of the WESTERN countries are falling fast and the people are aging, now that the gay can marry and they are all out of the closet can the population grow, thank God for poor third world countries providing them with labor force. During the GAY marriages i saw on the television,the parents were there to surport their marrying children, but which parents are happy that they would not be given grand kids poor parents am sure are anguished at never knowing what their grand children would look like, if the marrying son or daughter is their only child.
Now ANTHROPOLOGICAL speaking, i belive that western influences help in spreading the GAY culture,most of the people propagating the spread of homosexuality are those who either schooled abroad, lived abroad or have a thing or the other do do with western culture, in my village which can anthropologically be called a simple society until recent time, we have no one who is gay, may be the fear and shame of banishment is keeps every one in check.
Lastly, the every present and real fear of GAY MEN PREYING on young people not that heterosexual men dont prey on young girls, but this is lot more despicable and psychologically more profound. The level of poverty and lack of social welfare for poor families make the incident of child abuse , RAPE of minors very high. Until these issues are sorted out and addressed the law against GAY PRACTICES and the CRIMINALIZATION of the practice is a fit and proper thing to do.
Friday, 28 March 2014
CATHOLIC CONSERVATISM AND BABY FACTORY REALISM
Angela was 15 years old and in catholic boarding school, when she vanished into thin air. For nearly ten years, the family searched for her through radio, television ,the limit was when the very catholic couple had to use so called traditional means to look for their daughter after hitting brick wall, she was given up for dead.
Ten years after, she appeared with a story stranger than fiction. Her senior brother´s friend got her pregnant during the holiday, she knew this could kill her parents as her father was in the ELDERS meeting and her mother, leader of their parish CWO (CHRISTAN WOMEN ORGANIZATION). If its known she is pregnant, the parents would no longer receive holy communion. She then confided in a friend who took her to a woman who was to shelter her, until she had the baby then would return to school. She could pull that off as she lived in the boarding house,no body suspected she was pregnant. The women she met, arranged for some men who took her away by night to lagos. She had the baby which was taken away and sold, She was forced to sleep with some young men, gave birth to seven babies in captivity. There were many other Women held there. For next three years she couldn´t get pregnant so they threw out on the high way with a token for transport fare.
The second girl stella had similar catholic background of good catholic family, where pregnancy before marriage is forbidden, while abortion leads to hell fire. As a norm, she could not run to her parents, but to a friend who took her to a native DOCTOR: in a very horrible SLUM , in a very taky rundown second century hut, the native doctor should be at least 70 years,dirty as a pig,this is beyond picturesque exageration , I went hunting for him on hearing the story.
He told her that as a student, he would not charge her much but she would pay only a token amount of money, he then bought out some stuff in tablet form, he told her that the insemination of the tablets will induced an abortion, but the catch is that he must use his MAN HOOD to push the tablets into her body, once a day for five days. The poor girl; whom am sure had a perceptible chill at what the old fool wanted to do, had no choice than to allow him make love to her, under the pretence of helping her abort the pregnancy vis what her parents could do to her; on finding out about the pregnancy. After five promised days of an abortion and five days of rape, the abortion did not happen. She only came to her senses when the old wizard told her that the baby was very strong and not willing to abort, that they could extend the tablets to another one week, meaning another one week of sex with the old thing without teeth in his mouth, she stopped going there.She was introduced to a baby factory ,she went there had the baby, then went back to school without her parents any wiser.
Some catholic parents take their daughters to these baby factory, themselves to be hidden until the baby comes, it will be given up for adoption or whatever. Daughters will then go back to school as if nothing happened, church council will not know and holy communion partaking intact. Some catholic NUNS are also cashing into the poverty of some members to rob them of their babies. A poor widow´s teenage daughter became pregnant, the poor woman ran to the NUNS who run a catholic hospital for help. She made it clear to them, that her daughter want to keep the baby.These was accepted,She was kept in the hospital sh,had her baby, after three months, they now ask her to return to school, When the mother demanded for the baby, they gave her a hospital bill so outrageous that it was impossible for her to pay the poor woman was never informed she will pay hospital bill, she thought the NUNS were helping her as a widow, she went away weeping and the baby was given to the highest bidder,which was their game plan right from when they accepted her daughter in.
POVERTY plays an important role here,unwanted pregnancies are kick started by poverty. Girls from poor homes often fall victims to wolves out there. My cousin was sent to the Village to stay with her grandmother while attending the local high school. The Students were asked to pay 2oo NAIRA in the school for send off of an NYSC teacher, her grandmother could not provide her with the money, they sent away her from School, a village loafer gave her the money,got her pregnant, her parents , took her to a catholic ran baby factory where NUNS sell babies to the very rich. These smart NUNS run catholic high schools and are very vigilant in fishing out girls for pregnant test and then quietly arm twist the parents into sending their daughters to their hospitals,babies are had, then given up without formal adoption or documentations.The Church should look into their family planning policy and abortion too. The church should reform and move on with time. Am not advocating that abortion is right or not, but contraceptives should be encouraged, sex Education is very important, whether we want to know or not, most of our young people are sexually active. Lot of even married women, had lost their lives through illegal abortions, obtained from back street abortionists, so which one is better to use family planning method or visit illegal abortion clinics.
Ten years after, she appeared with a story stranger than fiction. Her senior brother´s friend got her pregnant during the holiday, she knew this could kill her parents as her father was in the ELDERS meeting and her mother, leader of their parish CWO (CHRISTAN WOMEN ORGANIZATION). If its known she is pregnant, the parents would no longer receive holy communion. She then confided in a friend who took her to a woman who was to shelter her, until she had the baby then would return to school. She could pull that off as she lived in the boarding house,no body suspected she was pregnant. The women she met, arranged for some men who took her away by night to lagos. She had the baby which was taken away and sold, She was forced to sleep with some young men, gave birth to seven babies in captivity. There were many other Women held there. For next three years she couldn´t get pregnant so they threw out on the high way with a token for transport fare.
The second girl stella had similar catholic background of good catholic family, where pregnancy before marriage is forbidden, while abortion leads to hell fire. As a norm, she could not run to her parents, but to a friend who took her to a native DOCTOR: in a very horrible SLUM , in a very taky rundown second century hut, the native doctor should be at least 70 years,dirty as a pig,this is beyond picturesque exageration , I went hunting for him on hearing the story.
He told her that as a student, he would not charge her much but she would pay only a token amount of money, he then bought out some stuff in tablet form, he told her that the insemination of the tablets will induced an abortion, but the catch is that he must use his MAN HOOD to push the tablets into her body, once a day for five days. The poor girl; whom am sure had a perceptible chill at what the old fool wanted to do, had no choice than to allow him make love to her, under the pretence of helping her abort the pregnancy vis what her parents could do to her; on finding out about the pregnancy. After five promised days of an abortion and five days of rape, the abortion did not happen. She only came to her senses when the old wizard told her that the baby was very strong and not willing to abort, that they could extend the tablets to another one week, meaning another one week of sex with the old thing without teeth in his mouth, she stopped going there.She was introduced to a baby factory ,she went there had the baby, then went back to school without her parents any wiser.
Some catholic parents take their daughters to these baby factory, themselves to be hidden until the baby comes, it will be given up for adoption or whatever. Daughters will then go back to school as if nothing happened, church council will not know and holy communion partaking intact. Some catholic NUNS are also cashing into the poverty of some members to rob them of their babies. A poor widow´s teenage daughter became pregnant, the poor woman ran to the NUNS who run a catholic hospital for help. She made it clear to them, that her daughter want to keep the baby.These was accepted,She was kept in the hospital sh,had her baby, after three months, they now ask her to return to school, When the mother demanded for the baby, they gave her a hospital bill so outrageous that it was impossible for her to pay the poor woman was never informed she will pay hospital bill, she thought the NUNS were helping her as a widow, she went away weeping and the baby was given to the highest bidder,which was their game plan right from when they accepted her daughter in.
POVERTY plays an important role here,unwanted pregnancies are kick started by poverty. Girls from poor homes often fall victims to wolves out there. My cousin was sent to the Village to stay with her grandmother while attending the local high school. The Students were asked to pay 2oo NAIRA in the school for send off of an NYSC teacher, her grandmother could not provide her with the money, they sent away her from School, a village loafer gave her the money,got her pregnant, her parents , took her to a catholic ran baby factory where NUNS sell babies to the very rich. These smart NUNS run catholic high schools and are very vigilant in fishing out girls for pregnant test and then quietly arm twist the parents into sending their daughters to their hospitals,babies are had, then given up without formal adoption or documentations.The Church should look into their family planning policy and abortion too. The church should reform and move on with time. Am not advocating that abortion is right or not, but contraceptives should be encouraged, sex Education is very important, whether we want to know or not, most of our young people are sexually active. Lot of even married women, had lost their lives through illegal abortions, obtained from back street abortionists, so which one is better to use family planning method or visit illegal abortion clinics.
Monday, 17 March 2014
OLDER MEN AND MID LIFE CRISIS
There comes a time in life of middle aged people when they start thinking that time is running out, they start taking critical looks at the lives they are living. They belived that they could be happier if they had done things differently. These thoughts could trigger off mid life crisis.
Adifficult, a haunting horror of been left in the rot, stagnated by life and for life. Dr CALVIN COLARUSSO a clinical proffesor of psychiatry stated that a true mid life crisis usually involves changing your entire life in a hurry.
Some men go into depression, some leave their families cold turkey , blaming their stagnation in life on them. Some other men just make small changes, like caring more about their appearances. Others start dating younger women especially if they are also have sexually dysfunction problem, they look at their long time wives with the word SAMENESS ;SAMENESS stamped in their brains.
Most men start experiencing this crisis once they hit mid forties to early fifties. Some start questioning their entire life choices and then start wishing that time tide could change, so that they would had done most things differently. Then start having strong wishes to make changes before it gets too late. The urgency of shortness of life span is mostly felt now.
The subtle or drastic changes in their appearances like wrinkles etc are over noted, these could lead to more desperation. Psychologist LYNN MARGOLIES; started that men go through ²TEENAGE---LIKE REBELLION² at this point in their lives. She mentions some signs to show a man is going through mid life crisis 1DRINKING MORE 2 HAVING AN AFFAIR 3 LEAVING AN EXISTING FAMILY 4 FEELING YOUR LIFE NO LONGER FITS YOU:5 MORE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE
At this point older men start searching for more thrills and desire for excitement without caring for who is hurt, in the quest for proving their vitality, they start living recklessly. In our soc
Adifficult, a haunting horror of been left in the rot, stagnated by life and for life. Dr CALVIN COLARUSSO a clinical proffesor of psychiatry stated that a true mid life crisis usually involves changing your entire life in a hurry.
Some men go into depression, some leave their families cold turkey , blaming their stagnation in life on them. Some other men just make small changes, like caring more about their appearances. Others start dating younger women especially if they are also have sexually dysfunction problem, they look at their long time wives with the word SAMENESS ;SAMENESS stamped in their brains.
Most men start experiencing this crisis once they hit mid forties to early fifties. Some start questioning their entire life choices and then start wishing that time tide could change, so that they would had done most things differently. Then start having strong wishes to make changes before it gets too late. The urgency of shortness of life span is mostly felt now.
The subtle or drastic changes in their appearances like wrinkles etc are over noted, these could lead to more desperation. Psychologist LYNN MARGOLIES; started that men go through ²TEENAGE---LIKE REBELLION² at this point in their lives. She mentions some signs to show a man is going through mid life crisis 1DRINKING MORE 2 HAVING AN AFFAIR 3 LEAVING AN EXISTING FAMILY 4 FEELING YOUR LIFE NO LONGER FITS YOU:5 MORE CONCERNED ABOUT YOUR APPEARANCE
At this point older men start searching for more thrills and desire for excitement without caring for who is hurt, in the quest for proving their vitality, they start living recklessly. In our soc
Tuesday, 4 March 2014
MEN MENOPAUSE ANDROGEN DEFICIENCY:
This is real, but most men would not want to talk about it. Just as women go into menopause when the estrogen level start dropping so do men when the problem of low testosterone start cropping up. Women start having hormonal issues like hot flushes, mood swings, aches and pains, low sex drives etc men also have similar health issues too.
Lot of Men become depressive without knowing that they need treatment. For this treatment, a blood test to check the level of testosterone is done. Treatment involves injection of testosterone twice a day for like 5 years. Dr Akinwale Awe stated that about 4 to 5 million men with ANDROGEN DEFICIENCY, only 5 percent are currently on treatment.
A Lot of studies are currently going on,to find out the long term effect of treatment with hormone just as in women, as it had been known that hormone replacement therapy increases the incident of breast cancer ,so also a man under treatment need to carry out prostate cancer test every 6 months by doing PSA (Prostate specific antigen) The benefit of replacement therapy is that the libido is improved, increased in bone density, muscle mass and strength , reduced mood swings.
Men handles mid life crisis in a different way from women, they often handles it with a lot misgivings, most are not chivalrously ready to concede most of his pleasures, with deminshing libidos they start straying from home, blaming their aging wives wrinkling faces and sagging bodies for their problems .They start looking for love outside their marriage believing that younger women would boost their libido.
While dealing with menopause some Men resort to sex stimulant, no wonder VIAGRA is multi billion dollar business and other herbal preparations which men take , without checking with a doctor first. Most of these sex stimulant are dangerous to health, and should not be taken without doctor,s check in, these drugs could increase blood pressure, stroke etc.
Men should not pay too much attention to their love life at this age, women generally handles this area of their lives better,than men. Women at this stage pay attention to their kids, family and social respönsibility ,recreation etc. Life is all about conversation and relationship, women have got less to prove because they have a better sense of priority, they have multiple facets to their life without wasting time on fading sexual impulses. Afterall at the end of life, what we are venerated for would be compassion, good work.
Lot of Men become depressive without knowing that they need treatment. For this treatment, a blood test to check the level of testosterone is done. Treatment involves injection of testosterone twice a day for like 5 years. Dr Akinwale Awe stated that about 4 to 5 million men with ANDROGEN DEFICIENCY, only 5 percent are currently on treatment.
A Lot of studies are currently going on,to find out the long term effect of treatment with hormone just as in women, as it had been known that hormone replacement therapy increases the incident of breast cancer ,so also a man under treatment need to carry out prostate cancer test every 6 months by doing PSA (Prostate specific antigen) The benefit of replacement therapy is that the libido is improved, increased in bone density, muscle mass and strength , reduced mood swings.
Men handles mid life crisis in a different way from women, they often handles it with a lot misgivings, most are not chivalrously ready to concede most of his pleasures, with deminshing libidos they start straying from home, blaming their aging wives wrinkling faces and sagging bodies for their problems .They start looking for love outside their marriage believing that younger women would boost their libido.
While dealing with menopause some Men resort to sex stimulant, no wonder VIAGRA is multi billion dollar business and other herbal preparations which men take , without checking with a doctor first. Most of these sex stimulant are dangerous to health, and should not be taken without doctor,s check in, these drugs could increase blood pressure, stroke etc.
Men should not pay too much attention to their love life at this age, women generally handles this area of their lives better,than men. Women at this stage pay attention to their kids, family and social respönsibility ,recreation etc. Life is all about conversation and relationship, women have got less to prove because they have a better sense of priority, they have multiple facets to their life without wasting time on fading sexual impulses. Afterall at the end of life, what we are venerated for would be compassion, good work.
Friday, 28 February 2014
OLDER WOMEN AS PREDITORS
In an old MARIE CLAIRE publication ,was a fasinating story by CATHY SCOTT-CLARK and ADRIAN LEVY .. titled "INDIA`S FEMALE DRUG BARONS." in the foothill of the Himalaya mountain lies a village run by a cartel of women who grow, harvest and sell the most expensive cannabis resin in the world.
The women are called daughters of ALEXANDER as they believed they are descended from Alexander the great armies lost during the crusade. The women work and controlled the trade, while the men spend their days totally stoned on the drugs, sleeping away their time. The general consensus are that men are not to be trusted. The business is handed down from Mother to Daughter and never Sons.
The most interesting thing about these people is their marriage. In the center of the village is what is called marriage houses(, they become sexually active from age 10). The male and female meet at night in this marriage house, as a female if you see any man you fancy, you sleep with him if he pays you 20 rupees. They marry if they like each other. The female can discard of the male at any time and return to the marriage house to look for another husband. As they hold the economic power, they are never short of suitors. One called Durgi boasted "I don`t stay with any man for long,we are the strong ones " these are female preditors. The consequence was that mortality rate was one of the highest in India.Check out the daily papers the love searching page these days what do you see, young boys searching for older women to have relationships with. Why do these boy leave young girls and go after dinosaurs, this boil down to poverty in real terms and of character. Many married women these days are indifferent to marriage, those who are financially independence consider it a bad bargain. Most have husbands who are too busy,so they hunt young boys to massage their egos and spend a lot of money, as the boys are only interested in money. These boys are strong and active so don"t require Viagra unlike their middle aged husbands. Most middle aged single, widowed , divorced women have a sense of isolation, even some married ones too. Modern living has made it more so, lots of husbands and wives are not staying togather in the same home as couples ,one is working in one town, the other in another city. More so in developing countries, lots of wives are often sent abroad to live with the children, or husbands are working abroad, while the wives are living alone. Most rich men don"t even have time for their wives; most of whom are house wives. The husbands are always on the move closing deals. A story was püblished then of a military governor"s wife who had an affair with a then famous actor, the husband wised up,threw her out and took away her kids.Married women sleeping with young boys often have profound effect on the marriage. It starts with the thrill of the forbidden act, then move to the logistics of deceit like where the tango would take place..... his pad,, hotel, motel, her home , office, bush, car. A 76 year old woman was actually caught having sex in her well packed car with her driver. The first inklings of suspicion by the husband, followed by discovery , the confrontation could be a nightmare that would not be worth the stress. These boys who had perfected the act of gigglo would just move on.The pocket of the preditor is leaner by then, as the boy want a well furnished pad ,his own ride, designer wears etc. There are a lot women with their own earned cash these days who are ready to send on these boys,. these women move from a boy to another. Sure there could actually exist true love between an other woman and a younger lover. Think of TINA TURNER ,LIZ TAYLOR ,and their younger lovers, but they still got their fingers burnt .The female preditors are always on the look out for better looking boys. They are ready to dump an old flame for a new one, Some of the married ones turned preditors as an act of revenge on their husbands, who often started the cheating game. some of the women are left with rampaging raving libido"s , so the women who often would start having low self esteem and deminishing self worth concerning their attractiveness,could start looking out for their own lovers too as an act of self reassurance and also getting back at the cheating husband, the thrill is with a younger person .
The women are called daughters of ALEXANDER as they believed they are descended from Alexander the great armies lost during the crusade. The women work and controlled the trade, while the men spend their days totally stoned on the drugs, sleeping away their time. The general consensus are that men are not to be trusted. The business is handed down from Mother to Daughter and never Sons.
The most interesting thing about these people is their marriage. In the center of the village is what is called marriage houses(, they become sexually active from age 10). The male and female meet at night in this marriage house, as a female if you see any man you fancy, you sleep with him if he pays you 20 rupees. They marry if they like each other. The female can discard of the male at any time and return to the marriage house to look for another husband. As they hold the economic power, they are never short of suitors. One called Durgi boasted "I don`t stay with any man for long,we are the strong ones " these are female preditors. The consequence was that mortality rate was one of the highest in India.Check out the daily papers the love searching page these days what do you see, young boys searching for older women to have relationships with. Why do these boy leave young girls and go after dinosaurs, this boil down to poverty in real terms and of character. Many married women these days are indifferent to marriage, those who are financially independence consider it a bad bargain. Most have husbands who are too busy,so they hunt young boys to massage their egos and spend a lot of money, as the boys are only interested in money. These boys are strong and active so don"t require Viagra unlike their middle aged husbands. Most middle aged single, widowed , divorced women have a sense of isolation, even some married ones too. Modern living has made it more so, lots of husbands and wives are not staying togather in the same home as couples ,one is working in one town, the other in another city. More so in developing countries, lots of wives are often sent abroad to live with the children, or husbands are working abroad, while the wives are living alone. Most rich men don"t even have time for their wives; most of whom are house wives. The husbands are always on the move closing deals. A story was püblished then of a military governor"s wife who had an affair with a then famous actor, the husband wised up,threw her out and took away her kids.Married women sleeping with young boys often have profound effect on the marriage. It starts with the thrill of the forbidden act, then move to the logistics of deceit like where the tango would take place..... his pad,, hotel, motel, her home , office, bush, car. A 76 year old woman was actually caught having sex in her well packed car with her driver. The first inklings of suspicion by the husband, followed by discovery , the confrontation could be a nightmare that would not be worth the stress. These boys who had perfected the act of gigglo would just move on.The pocket of the preditor is leaner by then, as the boy want a well furnished pad ,his own ride, designer wears etc. There are a lot women with their own earned cash these days who are ready to send on these boys,. these women move from a boy to another. Sure there could actually exist true love between an other woman and a younger lover. Think of TINA TURNER ,LIZ TAYLOR ,and their younger lovers, but they still got their fingers burnt .The female preditors are always on the look out for better looking boys. They are ready to dump an old flame for a new one, Some of the married ones turned preditors as an act of revenge on their husbands, who often started the cheating game. some of the women are left with rampaging raving libido"s , so the women who often would start having low self esteem and deminishing self worth concerning their attractiveness,could start looking out for their own lovers too as an act of self reassurance and also getting back at the cheating husband, the thrill is with a younger person .
Thursday, 20 February 2014
SINGLE OLDER WOMEN AS PREY
The World is truely a Man's own. A widowed, divorced,never married older man, married man too, can marry at anytime he wants to any woman old or young. older single women are often face with lonely years. Men of their age mates are not interested in them. They want younger women, the younger the better to massage their deminishing ego as studs.This loneliness is more pronounced in single older women without Children. They are also alienated from their married friends. t
The loneliness of these women makes it easy for them to fall prey to preditors out there in form of much younger men, sometimes tenage boys young enough to be their kids. We had read severally of "so called socialities" who dated young studs. They often got their fingers burnt and their hearts broken.W
Women should be alert at proposals from these young boys, majority are Gold diggers who could read their desperations to dig into the women's pockects, these are times when single older women need financial independence for future infemities.
Remember the news about the young Nigeria Boy that duped an Austrialian 67 year old woman of thousands of dollars, lured her to South Africa and murded her. This error of judgement is almost routine in older lonely women. Ihindsight almost all of us have, at least once, experienced a compelling idea of a semi dazzling person crawling through our psychic windows and catching us off guard.
These young men often romanced these lonely women in a paradiscal manner.Most of them are naive and keep on making poor choices in mates, often there is something compelling, a sort of Blue beardian mesmerization (remember the fairy tale), about continuing the destructive quest for younger lovers.
Often these women chose mate who denigrates her heart and dismantles her pocket and health or her life even. Clarissa Pinkola Este's in her best seller "WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES" said "the naive woman taciticaly agrees to remain "not knowing" women who are gullibe or those with injured instincts are like flowers, turn in the direction of whatever sun is offered" this means that the women knew by instinct that the relationships wouldnt end well but could not resist the preditors.
Lastly, i read that amoung animals, there is said to be a mysterious death psychic between a predator and a prey. It was noted that if the prey gives a type of eye contact with a certain kind of shiver that causes a ripple all over it's body, the prey acknowledge its weakness to the preditor and agrees to become the preditor's victim. Next week i will look at older women as preditors.
The loneliness of these women makes it easy for them to fall prey to preditors out there in form of much younger men, sometimes tenage boys young enough to be their kids. We had read severally of "so called socialities" who dated young studs. They often got their fingers burnt and their hearts broken.W
Women should be alert at proposals from these young boys, majority are Gold diggers who could read their desperations to dig into the women's pockects, these are times when single older women need financial independence for future infemities.
Remember the news about the young Nigeria Boy that duped an Austrialian 67 year old woman of thousands of dollars, lured her to South Africa and murded her. This error of judgement is almost routine in older lonely women. Ihindsight almost all of us have, at least once, experienced a compelling idea of a semi dazzling person crawling through our psychic windows and catching us off guard.
These young men often romanced these lonely women in a paradiscal manner.Most of them are naive and keep on making poor choices in mates, often there is something compelling, a sort of Blue beardian mesmerization (remember the fairy tale), about continuing the destructive quest for younger lovers.
Often these women chose mate who denigrates her heart and dismantles her pocket and health or her life even. Clarissa Pinkola Este's in her best seller "WOMEN WHO RUN WITH THE WOLVES" said "the naive woman taciticaly agrees to remain "not knowing" women who are gullibe or those with injured instincts are like flowers, turn in the direction of whatever sun is offered" this means that the women knew by instinct that the relationships wouldnt end well but could not resist the preditors.
Lastly, i read that amoung animals, there is said to be a mysterious death psychic between a predator and a prey. It was noted that if the prey gives a type of eye contact with a certain kind of shiver that causes a ripple all over it's body, the prey acknowledge its weakness to the preditor and agrees to become the preditor's victim. Next week i will look at older women as preditors.
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