We came from two nearby villages, she from ENUGWU::UKWU while am from ENUGWU ;;;AGIDI: She was like a kid sister to me. We all lived in the same apartment building in ENUGU owned by my grandfather. Her senior sister was my friend and was practical sharing my room with me, as our apartment was much bigger than theirs.
I grew up with my mother always ill and away in search of healing, often my sister and I are always hungry as biG brothers were always out playing football.My friend the senior sister would sneak into their apartment to eat food prepared by their mom, while Njide would sneak food out for me. After high school, I left for JOS to attend university education. My MOM later passed on, I left Enugu for good and then lost touch with the family.
Years later, she traced me to ABUJA where I had settled and started a family. She was posted to serve her NYSC in BAUCHI state and had finished from the orientation camp. She was certainly unhappy with the choice of Bauchi and wanted a different place for primary assignment, so came looking for me. I was more than happy to see her. I promised to help her serve in Abuja. She happily settled down in my house. We had a lot of time to chat about the old life and her life after I left Enugu. Her life was one of struggle after her father,s business went under. Attending University was no longer possible ;but help came her way.
The GENERAL OVERSEER of their church, who started dating her senior sister offered to send both of them to the university. While her two brothers dropped out of school after high school ,they had to go and learn trading. Things were still a struggle as they were mostly dependent on their mother,s petty trading to survive. Education wise, things were ok until the CHURCH FOUNDER with children her own age, started LUSTING after her too. When she refused to carve in and start dating him too, the man of GOD washed his hands off her education, Luckily she was half way through, things became real tough, but she was determined not to give up on her dreams of been a university graduate. [she read political science] The family really struggled to help her actualize her dreams. She told me about her shoe nicknamed ²ECHETEKA meaning tomorrow is too far by her school mates reason been that she wears the shoe day in day out, month in month out in school .
Been an attractive girl, she had her fair share of toasters in school, she took her time until in 300 level when she fell in love with a posh boy from ABBA another nearby village from her,s who was already in his final year in same school. Things were a little better for her when he graduated and started working as he helped out. She had never been comfortable about their two dialectical opposite background as he is the son of a well known rich transporter. The boy born into a VENERABLE and VENERATED family assured her, that he would certainly marry her. She then graduated from the university.
The way and manner she was introduced to his marriage to another girl, who came from the right similar background was mortifying. The boy,s mother had always been in the know about their relationship but had always been indifferent to her, which always cause a dampness to fall upon her spirit but the lover boy always irrevocably pledged his never ending love , assuring her that his family would never dictate to him who to marry, and would deal with his condescending mother with her spasmodic extravagance of a person used to large fortune when they are ready for their marriage after her NYSC: She visited the family house as usual, but saw that an important activity was planned for the house as there were canopies been set up, women running around cooking while the LADY OF THE MANOR the boy friend,s mother was fully in charge running the affair.She was just told that there would be a party the next day. She wondered as Chike never informed her of any party.When she asked of him as she didnt sight him at all, nobody was forth coming with an answer to his movement and his cell phone out of reach. She went home and was later informed about the next day traditional wedding between Chike and a girl from the right well connected family. who just returned from UK after university education by a friend of Chike over the cell phone. She never saw nor had any communication from him again.
After the sharing of this story, I was more than determined to help her. Am sure I would had bombed that traditional wedding; if I were in her shoes.Luckily I had a contact at NYSC office so her reposting to Abuja was just one hand for me, we went further to press buttons to post her to NNPC with the intention of further pushing them to retain her,after the service year.
She was full of joy and decided to travel down to Enugu to inform her parents, as she had two weeks off before starting work. As I intended traveling to Benin, so she joined myself and my son down to Benin, where we spent three wonderful nights in the poshest hotel in town. I thank GOD I gave her good, wonderful time before dropping her at her parent house still my grandfather,s house and traveled back to Abuja.
She was to come back to Abuja in a weeks time to party with us on my son,s forth coming birthday. She promised to come back two days before the party to help out. The day came and passed and she didnt show up.Then the dread call came from a friend of mine living at Enugu that NJIDE had passed on.She didnt have any information on what happened. I was filled with sudden exasperation of the elaborate futility of life. I traveled down to Enugu at once, I was shocked that she was already buried same day she passed on. The sorrow within the family was heart renting but I was really taken back at the suddenness of the intenment.
The story of what really took her life was related to me by the photographer who had a studio in from of their family home. According to him, Nijide had informed all of them about her intending trip back to Abuja the next day. She was up very early in the morning, washed her cloths for the trip next morning, cooked breakfast for the family and then left with her senior sister my old friend. Soon after, the sister rushed back alone without her and their mother joined her in rushing out again. By now people around knew that something was up. Soon after the mother rushed back and started screaming that NJIDE had passed on. People who saw her not quite an hour, leaving with her sister was bewildered beyond reasons.
Njide was pregnant and went with her sister to a nearby clinic for an abortion. The medical director of the clinic was not on seat. The NYSC doctor they meet convinced them he would do the abortion very well and at half the cost of what the hospital owner would had collected from them so they accepted. Soon after he started the evacuation, she started bleeding, became unconscious and then passed on. The father was called from the market where he runs a shop. He directed that she must be buried at once, so an ambulance was brought and a casket bought for her last journey to ENUGWU;;UKWU , that same day, without any funfair without any church service, without fair well from her friends, just thrown into the soil like an out caste. Like one who has committed an abormination . She was at the face of a steep precipice alone, the preposterousness of the matter without the second party, who have started his matrimonal life with ecstatic animation else where without a second thought to all his promises to her.
The fresh body, bleed all over the casket ,bleed all over the white shroud, bleed all over the ambulance.,The photographer and other people, that went with her on this last journey testified. SHE WAS COMMITTED TO MOTHER EARTH around 10 pm that night when they finished digging the grave, without prayers as if they family was furious with her for the shame and scandal brought upon the family. The rich boy from the correct background had planted his seed of destruction on the girl from the wrong background, before dumping her to marry the right girl, from another correct background.Her story was one of most poor girls who had been deceived by boys from so called upper crust families,these boys often turn their scrupulous eyes on these poor girls while in school, only to dump them later. These girls whose ROMANTICISM are always inconsistent with reality, are always left with burnt fingers and depressed for life. They need to let go of their INNOCENT ADROITNESS and face fact that inequality can never be wished away in the real world, unlike the movies.
Tuesday 15 April 2014
Monday 7 April 2014
GAY ISSUE:::::::A SOCIOLOGICAL VIEW POINT
On the stroke of mid-night of 29th march 2014 ,the law permitting GAY couples to marry came into law, in ENGLAND AND WALES. Many of the so called Gay couples were scrambling to be among the first sets to be married. The voting of 400 for gay marriage and 107 against,showed that the country was ready for it.I saw the newly married male couples, the outstanding thing about all of them´is that they were mostly middle aged..BOTH HUSBANDS AND WIVES though only the couples themselves know who is who.
I do not believe there are true Gay people,that is born HOMOSEXUALS in our society,what we have here are married men or women who just want to swing both ways.Mostly married Men searching for thrills away from the usual or belong to some cult where these things are done as intiations . Often some enjoyed the act so much that it becomes a way of life, while others are re pulsed by the act that they stopped
My very first introduction into the existence of Gay people was way back in high school,when we mobilized and attacked an ANGLICAN CLERGY who sexually abused a friends 13 year old brother. About 18 of us during break hour stormed the vicary which was nearby and started hitting the offending gay REVEREND . He couldnt hit back, he could not shout as he didnt want to attract attention, we tore his robes into rags and looted his home to boots, how I now wished we did lot more. The man was a real PEDOPHILIA; he was newly trans fed and came without his wife and 4 children, he firstly lured the Gardener´s son into the gay act, then later used him to lure other young boys in his class with just chicken money.They were all children from poor homes. These boys had a lot of needs which their parents could not meet so fall into the hands of these depraved men.
What of the story of a retired man who spent his days out on his balcony watching the world, he kept on seeing a middle aged Man with two young boys dressed in the local school, uniform. They come every other afternoon, on clue, the owner of the lockup shop would leave and another man would lock himself and the boys inside the shop,the old man one day,mobilized the neighbours into confrounting them and the boys confessed that they were given money in exchange for the sexual favors. They GAY man was beaten a little short of his life,the arrival of the police on the scene saved him from the used tyre treatment.
A young boy was sent by his widowed mother to learn a trade as she could not foot the school fees after the demise of his father,he started staying with the master, his wife and 3 kids. He was given the antic room, the second night, dead in the night the master came into his room and demanded to see his DICK ; the poor confused boy did. Through out the next day the boy was filled with sudden exasperation at the elaborate futility of his life as it was generally believed that most people practice homosexual acts for RITUAL purposes.The next night,like before the master came in and this time sat on the bed and demanded to be shown the dick, the boy demanded to use the restroom first and bolted into the night.
My friend sister in law lost her husband to a gay married man with 4 children, the husband a retired military governor moved the man and two of his children into their matrimonal home, right into his bed room. The stories goes on and on. the high light of these stories are that all these men are all married and are not ready to give up been married to women. Am sure very few men here hates women or are never attracted to them and want to remain unmarried or wish to marry other men and live happily ever after with their male wives.
Most people i spoke to expressed disgust and are offended by gay people making love through the CRACK at the back, but the truth of the matter is that most heterosexual men also make love or want to make love through there if their wives would allow them entrance. Many a times the men blackmail their wives into allowing them, telling them IF YOU LOVE ME; YOU SHOULD ALLOW ME: ONCE I MAKE LOVE TO YOU THROUGH THERE; I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ETC but most women hates it and found it too painful . I still believe that whatever two consenting adults do is their problem.
GAY practices in our society cannot be not be wished away and its connection to PREYING on young people is very strong. Why wouldnt they go after adults instead of young impressionable children from very poor homes.These boys are not gay at all but have to escape poverty through any means these men often use money or material things to cage them into doing what they are very ashamed of. These closet gays should move away from children to adults before the issue of what is right or wrong can be addressed .
Speaking as a lawyer,legislating on gay issues with ascribed jail terms is an over kill, as this is a MORAL issue. As matter of fact law has no business with a moral question as this, but the important point is that the law is out to protect our young kids and punish PEDOPHILIA WHO SHOULD GO PICK ON MEN OF THEIR OWN AGES OR AT LEAST ADULTS.
Speaking now as a SOCIOLOGIST looking at the GAY QUESTION from the NATURE and NUTURE CONTROVERSY; I dont think any one is born GAY, this is actually a learnt practice, one thing or the other influence these Men into turning to gay practices while in their formative years. We are yet to hear of proves that some animals are born GAY especially the higher animals who are said to be related to us. It is morally wrong to allow GAY people to adopt children as they had given up their right to having children when they marry their own sex. The possibility of these adopted kids been gay in turn is very high. The population of the WESTERN countries are falling fast and the people are aging, now that the gay can marry and they are all out of the closet can the population grow, thank God for poor third world countries providing them with labor force. During the GAY marriages i saw on the television,the parents were there to surport their marrying children, but which parents are happy that they would not be given grand kids poor parents am sure are anguished at never knowing what their grand children would look like, if the marrying son or daughter is their only child.
Now ANTHROPOLOGICAL speaking, i belive that western influences help in spreading the GAY culture,most of the people propagating the spread of homosexuality are those who either schooled abroad, lived abroad or have a thing or the other do do with western culture, in my village which can anthropologically be called a simple society until recent time, we have no one who is gay, may be the fear and shame of banishment is keeps every one in check.
Lastly, the every present and real fear of GAY MEN PREYING on young people not that heterosexual men dont prey on young girls, but this is lot more despicable and psychologically more profound. The level of poverty and lack of social welfare for poor families make the incident of child abuse , RAPE of minors very high. Until these issues are sorted out and addressed the law against GAY PRACTICES and the CRIMINALIZATION of the practice is a fit and proper thing to do.
I do not believe there are true Gay people,that is born HOMOSEXUALS in our society,what we have here are married men or women who just want to swing both ways.Mostly married Men searching for thrills away from the usual or belong to some cult where these things are done as intiations . Often some enjoyed the act so much that it becomes a way of life, while others are re pulsed by the act that they stopped
My very first introduction into the existence of Gay people was way back in high school,when we mobilized and attacked an ANGLICAN CLERGY who sexually abused a friends 13 year old brother. About 18 of us during break hour stormed the vicary which was nearby and started hitting the offending gay REVEREND . He couldnt hit back, he could not shout as he didnt want to attract attention, we tore his robes into rags and looted his home to boots, how I now wished we did lot more. The man was a real PEDOPHILIA; he was newly trans fed and came without his wife and 4 children, he firstly lured the Gardener´s son into the gay act, then later used him to lure other young boys in his class with just chicken money.They were all children from poor homes. These boys had a lot of needs which their parents could not meet so fall into the hands of these depraved men.
What of the story of a retired man who spent his days out on his balcony watching the world, he kept on seeing a middle aged Man with two young boys dressed in the local school, uniform. They come every other afternoon, on clue, the owner of the lockup shop would leave and another man would lock himself and the boys inside the shop,the old man one day,mobilized the neighbours into confrounting them and the boys confessed that they were given money in exchange for the sexual favors. They GAY man was beaten a little short of his life,the arrival of the police on the scene saved him from the used tyre treatment.
A young boy was sent by his widowed mother to learn a trade as she could not foot the school fees after the demise of his father,he started staying with the master, his wife and 3 kids. He was given the antic room, the second night, dead in the night the master came into his room and demanded to see his DICK ; the poor confused boy did. Through out the next day the boy was filled with sudden exasperation at the elaborate futility of his life as it was generally believed that most people practice homosexual acts for RITUAL purposes.The next night,like before the master came in and this time sat on the bed and demanded to be shown the dick, the boy demanded to use the restroom first and bolted into the night.
My friend sister in law lost her husband to a gay married man with 4 children, the husband a retired military governor moved the man and two of his children into their matrimonal home, right into his bed room. The stories goes on and on. the high light of these stories are that all these men are all married and are not ready to give up been married to women. Am sure very few men here hates women or are never attracted to them and want to remain unmarried or wish to marry other men and live happily ever after with their male wives.
Most people i spoke to expressed disgust and are offended by gay people making love through the CRACK at the back, but the truth of the matter is that most heterosexual men also make love or want to make love through there if their wives would allow them entrance. Many a times the men blackmail their wives into allowing them, telling them IF YOU LOVE ME; YOU SHOULD ALLOW ME: ONCE I MAKE LOVE TO YOU THROUGH THERE; I WILL NEVER LEAVE YOU ETC but most women hates it and found it too painful . I still believe that whatever two consenting adults do is their problem.
GAY practices in our society cannot be not be wished away and its connection to PREYING on young people is very strong. Why wouldnt they go after adults instead of young impressionable children from very poor homes.These boys are not gay at all but have to escape poverty through any means these men often use money or material things to cage them into doing what they are very ashamed of. These closet gays should move away from children to adults before the issue of what is right or wrong can be addressed .
Speaking as a lawyer,legislating on gay issues with ascribed jail terms is an over kill, as this is a MORAL issue. As matter of fact law has no business with a moral question as this, but the important point is that the law is out to protect our young kids and punish PEDOPHILIA WHO SHOULD GO PICK ON MEN OF THEIR OWN AGES OR AT LEAST ADULTS.
Speaking now as a SOCIOLOGIST looking at the GAY QUESTION from the NATURE and NUTURE CONTROVERSY; I dont think any one is born GAY, this is actually a learnt practice, one thing or the other influence these Men into turning to gay practices while in their formative years. We are yet to hear of proves that some animals are born GAY especially the higher animals who are said to be related to us. It is morally wrong to allow GAY people to adopt children as they had given up their right to having children when they marry their own sex. The possibility of these adopted kids been gay in turn is very high. The population of the WESTERN countries are falling fast and the people are aging, now that the gay can marry and they are all out of the closet can the population grow, thank God for poor third world countries providing them with labor force. During the GAY marriages i saw on the television,the parents were there to surport their marrying children, but which parents are happy that they would not be given grand kids poor parents am sure are anguished at never knowing what their grand children would look like, if the marrying son or daughter is their only child.
Now ANTHROPOLOGICAL speaking, i belive that western influences help in spreading the GAY culture,most of the people propagating the spread of homosexuality are those who either schooled abroad, lived abroad or have a thing or the other do do with western culture, in my village which can anthropologically be called a simple society until recent time, we have no one who is gay, may be the fear and shame of banishment is keeps every one in check.
Lastly, the every present and real fear of GAY MEN PREYING on young people not that heterosexual men dont prey on young girls, but this is lot more despicable and psychologically more profound. The level of poverty and lack of social welfare for poor families make the incident of child abuse , RAPE of minors very high. Until these issues are sorted out and addressed the law against GAY PRACTICES and the CRIMINALIZATION of the practice is a fit and proper thing to do.
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